News
Saturday 20 September 2014
Aliens Took Baby, Mother Claims
Vancouver, Canada
In an interview for Canadian Channel 6 News, distraught mother Eileen Webster described how "hideous alien monsters" kidnapped her baby daughter Gemma.
Ms. Webster reported her daughter missing Friday night and police have been unable to find any trace of the baby. Ms. Webster went on-air to publically clear her name after a co-worker called a local talk show and accused her of foul play. The co-worker, who wishes to remain anonymous, described how Ms. Webster resented the baby's demands on her time and had talked of "getting rid of her".
In her interview, Ms. Webster described how she works as a secretary for Brad Industries and collects her baby from a day care centre at six o'clock every evening:
I take a short cut home through the bottom of the Sentinel building. I know it's closed off, but kids have smashed the boards down so I can get through OK and it saves me time. It's kind of creepy down there, especially when the lights are out.
Ms. Webster went on to describe the nature of the abduction:
There's this one patch where the light's flickering, and it was all still and quiet. Then I notice that the flickering's getting brighter. Suddenly, there's a big glow in front of me, like a searchlight right in my face, and there's a shape in the light, like a man but the wrong shape, and it reaches out, and I can't see what it does but, b-but my baby's not there, only an empty b-b-b-buggyyyyy...
At this point, Ms. Webster broke down and was unable to continue with the interview.
Police refused to comment on the story and would not say whether Ms. Webster was under suspicion for the disappearance of the baby.
The Sentinel building, a familiar landmark in downtown Vancouver, has stood empty since the Vancouver Sentinel ceased publication in 1997. The site is listed for eventual demolition and re-development. The building is closed off and listed as unsafe, but city planners are aware that the underground car park is often used as a pedestrian cut-through between two adjacent roads, Fraser Street and Ray Street. There have been several reports of unexplained phenomena in the area in recent years.
This newspaper, as part of its never-ending battle for truth and justice, has commissioned a special study by world-renowned UFOlogist Paul Chant. Mr Chant, author of world bestseller Demon City: The Haunting of Vancouver and the controversial follow-up It Happens In Underground Car Parks has pledged to devote his full energy to rescuing little Gemma from these alien abductors.
Ms. Webster was unavailable for comment.
Border Shoot-out Leaves Eight Dead
Tijuana, Mexico
In a short but bloody gun battle, investigating agents from the U.S. Customs Office of Enforcement gunned down eight suspected drug smugglers in the Mexican border town of Tijuana.
A U.S. Customs spokesman praised the agents on a "job well done", explaining that the gunfight marked the end of a months-long investigation.
For years, drugs of all kinds have been smuggled into the United States through the Tijuana border checkpoint. Customs agents have fought a mounting war of attrition against the producers, smugglers and pushers. Earlier this year, the Mexican government gave permission for American agents to mount operations directly on Mexican soil. This permission resulted in significant victories for the Customs agents, including the destruction of at least one cocaine production facility and the arrest of several key underworld operatives.
The current operation resulted in the siezure of several kilos of designer steroids and Troll Dust, with an estimated street value of over three million dollars. All eight of the smugglers were shot dead after they fired on the agents who challenged them. Customs officials described the deaths as "unfortunate", but confirmed that the agents acted correctly in the circumstances and would not face any further proceedings. It is understood that the smugglers were Mexican nationals. The Mexican government has declined to comment.
There has been some speculation that the smugglers were only the bottom tier of a large organisation and that their deaths has actually resulted in a major setback for the ongoing investigation. Customs officers refused to comment.
Space Mission Hijack Shock
Low Earth Orbit
At eight o'clock this evening (orbital time), something serious happened on board the Venturestar reusable launch vehicle currently orbiting the Earth. NASA has invoked crisis status and imposed a news blackout on the incident, but independent radio operators claim that the spacecraft's last transmissions indicated a hijacking.
If these claims are true, this is a historic moment. Never before has there been a act of piracy or hijacking in outer space.
The Venturestar-7 spacecraft, with a crew of four, was launched on a routine and otherwise uneventful mission twelve days ago. Tasks for the mission, designated mission RLV-341, included the deployment of the SUNSAT-3 solar probe, the recovery of three orbiting satellites, and a possible docking with the Lion-1 Space Station. It is understood that the first four objectives were all accomplished and OSG controllers were liaising with mission commander Bob Fisher regarding the possibility of a docking.
It is at this point that amature radio operators across the United States detected signs of a problem. Fisher broke communications in mid-sentence and a voice, identified as pilot Dave Storey, was heard to repeat: "It's a gun, he's got a gun!". Confused radio traffic followed, with evidence of a physical struggle.
Communication with Venturestar-7 ceased at that point, although there are rumours that NASA switched to a secret, encrypted frequency for further contact.
Independent astronomers say that Venturestar-7 has since altered orbit and may be attempting a rendezvous with Lion-1 in the next two or three days. Experts believe that a rendezvous will leave the spacecraft with less than the required safety margin of manoeuvering fuel for re-entry.
Genetic Engineering Scandal at London Hospital
London, England
Documents leaked to a London newspaper this week have implicated doctors at St. Swithens Hospital in a decades-old conspiracy to cover up illegal gene-splicing experiments.
A researcher apparently uncovered the documents among a jumble of old files at the hospital. They give detailed accounts of experiments performed on ninteen test-tube embryos between the years of 1998 and 2005. Authorities have not revealed the identities of the children, but it is believed that they include the eight adolescents currently undergoing treatment for alleged chlorosis. Detail are still sketchy, but questions have been asked in the House and the Home Secretary has promised a full investigation.
Britain's sad history of genetic scandal stretches back over three generations. In the 1950s, hundreds of British servicemen were exposed to radiation tests in an attempt to understand and control random genetic mutation. Many children of these servicemen were born with disabilities. Powerful pressure groups formed in the 1980s, when "Mutant Rights" became an excuse for demonstrations, riots, and social unrest. Rumour had it that the British government was incarcerating and exploiting mutants with supposed "superhuman" abilities. It now appears that these experiments were repeated with the deliberate aim, made possible by the advances of modern medical science, of creating a generation of children with tailored attributes. Although such experiments have been theoretically possible for decades, they have been banned by international treaty.
The secrets of St. Swithens may never be revealed. Were these sick experiments the work of twisted individuals or were they part of a larger conspiracy? Was the work carried out with the knowledge and blessing of the governemnt of the time? We only know that the truth is out there somewhere.