This issue opens later in the same day as issue 3. Shadows will be longer and the Sun is low in the West, if we ever see it.
Most narration will be in the form of Chi-Yun's letter, which will be noted as such in the script. This should be lettered with a distinctive "handwriting" style, a bit untidy but not illegible. Sometimes, a misspelled word may be crossed out or corrected. It should also be decorated with little pictures and icons in appropriate places—hearts, smiley faces, etc, showing that she's young and still somewhat immature at this stage of the story.
Note that the Jerome/Paul character is still Paul when this issue opens, so his dialogue is marked as such. But he will later change to Jerome.
Issue title and credits go somewhere on this page.
Close-up of DON leaning out of the window of his RV, speaking. (Note, this could be a small panel overlaying panel 2, which needs to take up a fairly big chunk of the page to establish the group).
CAPTION:
DON:
Big panel of the whole group, showing the RV driving away. We see SARA, JAMES, CHI-YUN, and PAUL. Sara is waving. Each is dressed for an outdoors hike. Except for James, who wears the green-and-black costume and the SHIELD strapped to his arm. Chi-Yun's coat should match the one she looked at last issue. All have a small pack on their back or on the ground next to them. Small packs, not huge rucksacks—they're spending the night in a cabin, not a week in tents. Chi-Yun's pack should be on her back and she will never take it off—it will be either on her back or missing completely. (This is because it does not exist—it is one manifestation of her shape-changing and therefore a part of her.) Sara's hair is tied back into a pony tail—very sensible when you have long hair and you're hiking through woods. Note that over the course of the next few pages, Chi-Yun's hair will grow slowly longer and more blonde. By page six it will match Sara's style exactly.
We can now see where they are: by the side of a road running through wooded hills. The flora is redwood, or sequoia, and whatever else is suitable for California in September. The woods slope upward steeply behind them—that's where they are going, so we may see the track they will be starting up.
CAPTION:
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
PAUL:
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
Sara points her finger in Paul's face while, in the background, James starts up the track.
SARA:
PAUL:
JAMES:
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
They wind their way up a steep forest trail. The marching order is: Sara leading, then James, Paul, Chi-Yun.
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
Close up on James and Sara.
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
JAMES:
SARA:
Still on Sara and James.
JAMES:
SARA:
JAMES:
SARA:
Wider angle to include Paul, behind Sara and James. Emphasis on Paul.
PAUL:
SARA:
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
Now showing Paul and Chi-Yun bringing up the rear.
PAUL:
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
Interior of Don's RV, on the highway. Don is driving. FRED sits next to him. Music is coming from the vehicle's sound system (the song captions should be accompanied by little musical symbols). Oh dear, it's another talking heads page...
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
FRED:
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
MUSIC:
Don is looking at Fred and frowning. Fred is taking out a cigarette.
DON:
MUSIC:
DON:
Holding the cigarette, Fred looks back at Don.
FRED:
MUSIC:
Small panel: close up of Don's hand touching a control on the dash.
MUSIC:
SFX:
DON:
Sitting side-by-side in the cab again. Both staring straight forward.
FRED:
DON:
FRED:
These panels should be arranged in a repetitive sequence of five rows: Panel 1 is a wide group shot, then a row of three smaller panels of close-ups; panel 5 is wide again; 6-8 are in a row; 9 is wide again.
They are still hiking. The same formation as before.
CAPTION (voice-over, DON's speech):
PAUL:
JAMES:
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
SARA:
Sara is bending over and picking something off the floor. James watches.
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
JAMES:
Sara has straightened up and turned and is dropping something into James's open hand.
SARA:
Close-up of JAMES's gloved palm. Lying there we see a small item of jewellery—diamond ear-ring or something. It looks pretty valuable.
JAMES:
The group continues walking.
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
PAUL:
JAMES:
SARA:
Sara is bending over and picking something off the floor. James watches. This should be visually identical to panel 2.
JAMES:
Sara is dropping something into James's open hand, in an exact copy of panel 3.
SARA:
Close up of James's palm. Lying in it is a four-leafed clover.
JAMES:
The straggling line continues onward and upward...
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
PAUL:
SARA:
A view of a clearing in the woods. There's a small cabin. Typical log construction, part of one wall is stone and forms a chimney for a fireplace. Windows are shuttered. No sign of life—except the door is hanging open. It's growing late and shadows are lengthening.
No dialogue.
The group moves into the clearing.
PAUL:
CHI-YUN:
SARA:
Paul moves towards the cabin.
PAUL:
Paul is now almost at the doorway. A figure suddenly appears in the doorway. It's small—a foot shorter than Paul—but broad. It's also not human. Although it's the right shape, it's covered in shaggy hair and looks more like a small bear than anything else. We will call this WILD BOY.
PAUL:
Wild Boy runs into Paul, shoulder-charging him and knocking him off balance.
WILD BOY:
PAUL:
Paul is sitting on the ground, winded, while Wild Boy disappears into the trees. James and Sara start after Wild Boy, while Chi-Yun moves towards Paul.
CHI-YUN:
SARA:
JAMES:
James and Sara walk back towards Paul.
JAMES:
PAUL:
Sara stands in the cabin doorway, looking in. We don't need to see inside the cabin—so we probably see the other three behind her from this POV.
SARA:
SARA:
Close-up on Chi-Yun
CHI-YUN:
Everybody looks at Chi-Yun
CHI-YUN:
Close-up on Sara. She is holding her pony-tail in her hand and waving it.
SARA (softly):
Close-up of Chi-Yun. She's touching her own hair, which now looks identical to Sara's.
CHI-YUN (softly):
Same view of Chi-Yun, but now her hair is her old bob-cut style.
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
Obviously later. The group sits outside the cabin, around a camp fire. All dressed as before. Packs lie scattered around. Finishing off a meal of canned yummies. It's now dark enough for the camp fire to throw shadows behind them.
JAMES:
SARA:
CHI-YUN:
Paul, Sara, and Chi-Yun stand and look in the direction Chi-Yun is now pointing. And from the direction comes RANGER MARC CARTER. He's a Park Service ranger, and wears the appropriate uniform and carries suitable equipment—including a rifle slung on his shoulder. When we see him closer, we will see a youngish, handsome, but lined and weather-beaten face. Note that James is sitting in shadow away from the others throughout the following conversation.
CARTER:
Close on Paul, Sara and Chi-Yun. Overlapping speech bubbles for the last three captions on this panel will indicate them speaking in unison.
PAUL:
SARA:
CHI-YUN:
PAUL:
SARA:
CHI-YUN:
Same view of them. Looking at Carter with "oh my God" expressions on their faces.
No dialogue.
Same view as they all speak again. Speech bubbles for captions the last three captions will overlap to indicate simultaneous speech again.
PAUL:
SARA:
PAUL:
SARA:
CHI-YUN:
Close up of James, sitting in the shadows.
JAMES (softly):
Carter looking bemused at Paul, Sara, and Chi-Yun.
CARTER:
Paul steps up to the ranger, taking charge.
PAUL:
CARTER:
Paul has his hand on Carter's shoulder, all friendly but actually turning him away from the campfire.
PAUL:
CARTER:
Paul's POV as Carter moves to the edge of the clearing.
No dialogue.
Continue Paul's POV. Carter is crouching and looking at the ground.
PAUL (softly):
Identical scene, but the ranger is looking back at Paul.
CARTER:
Sara has moved next to Paul.
SARA (softly):
PAUL (softly):
PAUL:
Carter walking back towards Paul. Significantly, he has his hand on his rifle.
CARTER:
Paul and Carter facing each other, probably a couple of yards apart. Sara and Chi-Yun may be visible behind Paul.
PAUL:
CARTER:
Same situation.
PAUL:
CARTER:
Paul, Sara, and Chi-Yun watch Carter walk back towards the trees.
PAUL (softly):
SARA (softly):
PAUL (softly):
The ranger disappears into the gloom of the trees.
PAUL:
Close up on Paul, looking thoughtful.
PAUL:
PAUL:
Sara and Chi-Yun exchange a doubtful look.
CHI-YUN:
SARA:
Paul walks away from the other two, following the ranger's direction.
PAUL:
SARA:
Paul is now at the edge of the clearing. Speaking with his back to the others.
PAUL:
And now Paul has turned to face them—but it's no longer Paul, it's JEROME. Of course there is no visible change, but we'll use 'Jerome' in the script from now. Jerome is smiling at them.
JEROME:
Sara and Chi-Yun watch Jerome vanish into the murk.
CHI-YUN:
SARA (yelling):
SARA (softly):
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
Sara turns to where James is sitting—he's seemingly oblivious to all this.
SARA:
JAMES:
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
Don's RV parked outside a police precinct. It's a busy city street, at night.
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
DON (from inside vehicle):
View inside the parked vehicle, where Don is talking to Fred.
DON:
FRED:
Don and Fred have left the vehicle. Don is activating the alarm with his key-fob thing.
DON:
SFX:
FRED:
They are ascending the stairs into the building. A number of people are about, including uniformed officers. Fred is looking around nervously.
DON:
FRED (softly):
They stop just before entering the door. Don has his hand on Fred's shoulder, reassuringly.
DON:
FRED:
Sara, James, and Chi-Yun sitting around the camp fire. It's decidedly dark now.
CHI-YUN:
JAMES:
SARA:
Focus on James and Sara.
JAMES:
SARA:
JAMES:
SARA:
Now a close up on Chi-Yun, gazing into the woods.
CHI-YUN:
JAMES (off-panel):
CHI-YUN:
A wide shot of the clearing, showing the group by the fire and the person Chi-Yun has been staring at. This is DOYLE. He's dressed for hiking, with a pack on his back. He has a pump-action shotgun strapped to his pack; we might not see it in this view (maybe we see the stock over his shoulder), but it will become apparent eventually. Doyle is getting on in years—he could easily be in his 60s, but he looks wiry and tough. Something like an older Clint Eastwood would be about right. He's at the edge of the clearing and has possibly been observing the group for some time. His face is grim.
CHI-YUN:
CHI-YUN (softly):
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
Doyle is crossing the clearing towards them.
DOYLE:
The three are now on their feet. Doyle has stopped in front of James. He holds his hand out to shake, but his expression is still hard.
DOYLE:
James takes Doyle's hand.
DOYLE:
JAMES:
The handshake over, Doyle is now looking around carefully. He's not looking at James while he's speaking.
DOYLE:
Doyle suddenly turns and looks right at the group.
DOYLE:
CHI-YUN:
SARA:
Focus on Doyle. He's now wearing a grim smile.
DOYLE:
James is standing face-to-face with Doyle. Very confrontational.
JAMES:
DOYLE:
Doyle is using a match to light a thick stubby cigar. Oh yes, definitely going for the Clint look here. The set of James's jaw is grimly determined.
DOYLE:
JAMES:
Wider shot, showing Chi-Yun and Sara at James's back. Doyle grins, cigar between his teeth.
DOYLE:
Doyle is now walking away. His back is to the group. From their POV, we should quite clearly see the pump-action on his back.
DOYLE:
DOYLE (softly):
DOYLE:
James watches the darkness where Doyle has now vanished. His face is impassive. Sara and Chi-Yun both look at him.
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
SARA:
JAMES:
James is striding into the woods. The other two trail behind him.
SARA:
JAMES:
SARA:
Establishing shot of Fred alone, sitting on a chair in a corridor. He's by a door that is obviously an interview room. Police officers are moving past. He's uncomfortable and his body language is very defensive.
No dialogue.
Inside the interview room. Only two occupants: Don and ALAN GRADY, the detective from last issue. Although there is a table and chairs, they are both standing. Both a little agitated.
DON:
GRADY:
Still in the room. Confrontational.
DON:
GRADY:
DON:
GRADY:
Don is looking out of the interview room's small window. He can just about see where Fred is sitting.
GRADY (probably off-panel):
DON:
Don is again facing Grady, pointing a finger emphatically in his face.
DON:
GRADY:
DON getting visibly more angry.
DON (yelling):
DON:
Grady leans over the small table, resting his hands on it. Head bowed.
GRADY:
DON:
Don turns his back on Grady as he speaks (we see him from behind, so we don't see his expression any more than Grady does).
GRADY:
DON (softly):
Grady sinks into one of the interview room chairs.
GRADY (softly):
Don looks down at Grady, who is visibly shaken.
DON:
Outside the interview room. Fred is watching the door; it is opening.
No dialogue.
Don has stepped into the corridor. Fred rises to face him.
DON:
DON:
An exterior view of a suburban house. A large, up-market kind of house, but not ostentatious, in a respectable neighbourhood. A respectable-looking saloon car is on the driveway outside the garage (it's a double garage). It's night and street lights are on (this is simultaneous with events in the woods). A man is at the front door of the house. This is FRANKLIN MARKS. He's fiftyish, slim, neatly groomed, wearing office clothes and carrying a briefcase. Letting himself into the house.
CAPTION:
He's in the hallway. He puts his case on a side table and loosens his necktie. The computer voice in this panel should be lettered in a distinctive "computer style" type. Computer captions don't have an obvious point of origin.
COMPUTER:
FRANKLIN:
COMPUTER:
He's entering a sitting room. Very comfortable. Lots of bookcases.
FRANKLIN:
We now see CARLA MARKS. She's a similar age to Franklin. Her brown hair is shoulder length and shows unmistakable streaks of grey. Dressed casually. Wears glasses. Attractive. She's curled up in a big, comfortable armchair, a computer balanced on her knees. She smiles as she looks up at him.
CARLA:
He is mixing drinks. Note that if we can identify what the drinks are, hers should be non-alcoholic. (Carla doesn't drink; it's not relevant now, but one day it might become important for continuity purposes.)
CARLA:
FRANKLIN:
Hands her a drink.
FRANKLIN:
CARLA:
He sits down in an armchair opposite her.
FRANKLIN:
CARLA:
FRANKLIN:
He is standing again, pacing.
FRANKLIN:
FRANKLIN:
CARLA:
He's still pacing.
FRANKLIN:
CARLA:
Close up on Carla looking down at her computer. She's smiling.
CARLA:
FRANKLIN (off-panel):
CARLA:
Close up of Franklin now.
FRANKLIN:
She's now looking at him and both are smiling broadly.
FRANKLIN:
CARLA:
FRANKLIN:
It's dark. I mean, a black panel. James, Chi-Yun, and Sara are visible as dark grey shapes, nothing more. Maybe some dark grey tree-shapes, also.
SFX:
SPEECH (uncertain origin):
SFX:
SPEECH (uncertain origin):
Still black. One dark shape (Sara) is confronting another (James).
SARA:
JAMES:
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
Small panel showing a close up of a grey shape that might be Chi-Yun's face.
CHI-YUN (softly):
Identical panel, but now Chi-Yun's eyes are glowing green with wide, vertically-slitted pupils, like a cat's.
CHI-YUN (thought):
Identical panel to panel 2, but now we're seeing it from Chi-Yun's POV. And she has perfect night vision, so James and Sara are thrown into sharp relief (there should be some unnatural cast to the colours or the lighting—maybe like those nature programmes filmed at night with vision enhancement).
SARA:
CHI-YUN (off-panel):
Same view, but now Sara and James are looking out-of-panel at Chi-Yun.
SARA (softly):
JAMES:
SARA (softly):
It's still dark and the shapes of James, Sara, and Chi-Yun are moving through the woods. Chi-Yun is leading.
SARA:
CHI-YUN:
SFX:
CHI-YUN (softly):
Close-up of (dark) Chi-Yun, rubbing her head.
CHI-YUN:
JEROME (off-panel):
Chi-Yun's POV, so we get the night-vision lighting effect. Jerome is moving towards them (possibly vaulting carelessly over a fallen tree, or something), and waving.
Jerome has reached them and is pointing off to the side.
JEROME:
JAMES:
SARA (softly):
All four are now moving through the woods.
JAMES:
JEROME:
They arrive back in the clearing. The cabin is visible, with the door slightly ajar, and the remains of the fire. There is now light from the Moon—still almost full.
SARA (softly):
They make their way across the clearing, towards the cabin.
JEROME (softly):
JEROME (softly):
Jerome is at the cabin door, a little ahead of the others.
JAMES (softly):
JEROME (softly):
Jerome entering the cabin, alone.
No dialogue.
The cabin. The door is now shut.
No dialogue.
Exactly the same view of the cabin.
SFX:
SFX:
SFX:
Sara, James, and Chi-Yun look at each other.
SFX:
The cabin again. The door is open slightly and Jerome's head pokes out.
JEROME:
The other three approach the cabin. Jerome remains where he is, not opening the door any further.
CHI-YUN:
JEROME:
SARA:
As before, Jerome still blocking the door.
JEROME:
JEROME:
Showing James's, Sara's, and Chi-Yun's reactions—mostly shock and amazement.
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
CAPTION (CHI-YUN's letter):
Next issue: Choices
See also: Don's Mission Report
Copyright © 2002, 2008, 2016 by David Meadows. All rights reserved.